randulo’s unblog

Talking to my brother about 'socialized medecine', the system under which I've lived for the last 30+ years, I remembered a story from a few years ago here in beautiful Southern California.

My wife needed to see an eye doctor, and we called and made an appointment in town. When we got there, the receptionist took our details and asked for a credit card imprint or a blank check. I asked how much it would be. She said she couldn't say until the doctor was done and they saw what he did. Funny, a rental car agency will put a hold of $250 or so for a car when you rent it, but the doctors office needs a blank check. Ok. After a relatively short wait, we were called into the exam room. At that point, we heard the doctor make a personal call a few feet outside the door. It was easy to hear the discussion, revolving around a trip to Tahoe, what equipment to bring, lengthy discussion of where to have dinner, etc. The call wasn't a few minutes, it was a leisurely chat among friends with the patient sitting there, anguished about her condition.

He came in, started talking about his honeymoon in Paris. After a few minutes, I literally had to ask him if he wouldn't mind examining the patient who was worried about an eye infection and possible glaucoma symptoms. He looked at each eye, told her eveything was fine, there was no need to treat any condition or write a prescription. Ok, better safe than sorry.

So I asked the receptionist how much it was going to be. She couldn't say until billing generated a statement, at the end of the month. In fact it took several weeks to get a bill for the $120 they charged for doing absolutely nothing other than a cursory exam.

A few years later our friend was visiting Paris with her daughter who needed to have recent stitches removed. The only place we could easily arrange was a small emergency room nearby in Montparnasse. Because it was a small place during a weeknight, the only available doctor was able to do the work immediately. When asked about the charges, our friend was handed a bill for around 8 euros, about $12.

Incidentally, I have no experience in Canada or the UK, but after 30 years of living in France, I have never waited in line for any normal medical services. I have been able to obtain a $1500-per-month treatment that lasted one year, then was repeated for another one and a half, free of charge, no cash outlay whatsoever. Had I needed to pay for it, I would not have been able to afford it. Of course, I did pay for it by paying into the system all my career.

While each country and each person's situation will vary, I do recommend that you NOT listen and swallow stories circulating everywhere about "socialized medecine" or socialism itself. Like a computer program, it depends on the choices and the implementation of the program.

Is there anything more humbling in a man's life than to have to stand naked in a cold room with a female medical technician looking on (and why are they always young and adorable?) while you try to perform some biological act best done in private? I have been in this position several times in my life and I'd have expected it would get easier, but it does not. The first time, I was in an emergency room, getting a smear done. This wouldn't have been a big deal except that just at the critical moment, there was major commotion and the young woman said "Here, you hold it" and went out without pulling the curtain. I saw a man crying, holding a blue baby, explaining that it had fallen into the swimming pool. This was an awful brush with reality, to be standing there, pants down, holding "myself" while that scene was happening about 5 feet away. People who work in the ER see this stuff every day. No wonder they can watch you shivering naked and embarrassed and not bat an eye.
 
The next time I had to have such an exam, it was at the Pasteur Institute in Paris. The nurses there are nuns, not particularly young or cute. The unexpected part of this visit wasn't a young death next to my superficial problem, but something this nun said to me. She was telling me how to produce the sample on the slide, which she was holding. Again, I'm standing in front of this person with my ... in my hand following her instruction exactly. Then she said with a wry smile "Come on! You can do better than that!" Somehow this is probably the only admonishment by a nun I've remembered all these years.
 
A few years ago, I had to stand in a cold room (wtf can't they heat these places?) next to a big stainless steel machine that was supposed to measure some parameter - fortunately not the girth, which surely was negative at that point - while a cute lab tech in white who resembled the woman on Dr House's staff "monitored" at a respectful distance. We tried everything: Conversation about the weather, politics, California... anything not related to medicine or organs. Nothing doing. She came over and tied a little ribbon gently around it. I don't see how this could have helped, but hey, these people do this stuff every day. No go. Then she brought over a basin with warm water, dipping my hand into that. All this went on for at least 30 minutes before we gave up.
 
I suppose there is a moral to all of this, right? In the service, they tell you, "Airman, the general zips his pants up the same way you do." The next time you are irritated by a presumptuous male, picture him in one of the above situations.
 
Maybe a commentor will have an even more intense experience with medical humiliation?